I'm really curious to hear your thoughts and feedback on this - from both moms and dads, stay-at-home, work-at-home, or work outside the home, please!
My husband is a Stay At Home Dad (hereon referred to as SAHD, thanks!). I work full time outside the home, a 50 hour work week, plus I (primarily) run bunniesnbuggies.com by myself. Yes, he helps with that, but he is one of those guys that doesn't know taffeta from tulle, satin from silk, or which end of a dress is up, so I take on the bulk of the work with that. :)
Whenever this comes up in conversation, generally with other females, this is how the conversation usually goes:
"So, what does your husband do?"
"He's a stay at home dad to our preschooler"
"You mean he doesn't WORK? How do you pay the bills?"
"Well, *I* work."
"So, is he LOOKING for a job?"
*sigh* I wish I was kidding here folks. If the roles were reversed, and I was the SAHM, no one would question it for a second. So why is it so odd that my husband is the stay at home parent?
I LOVE my job. I love working. Yes, it's exhausting, but I do have a fun "real" job, I like working with the people and customers that I do, and I like the constant change of scenery so to speak. My husband doesn't just watch our son - he also does all of the laundry, cleans the house, cooks for us, makes sure our son is happy, healthy, and well attended to. They do fun boy stuff while I'm gone all day. Honestly, sometimes I secretly think he's a little better at it than I am anyway. This arrangement works for us - we're a happy, harmonious family because of it.
So why is there a social stigma to the SAHD? Has anyone else ever come across this before? Please share your insights with us!
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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Very interesting post. I'm sorry you've encountered this. My husband is on Parental leave for 9 months, AND I am a stay at home mom so both of us are off.
ReplyDeleteAs a SAHM, I've encountered a lot of comments - surprise that I am 'wasting' my university degree, comments that I must be losing my brain because I'm at home (apparently, when you stay at home you become illiterate.)
honestly, if I wanted to work and my hubby could stay at home, he would. Since being off he's been met with very positive reactions.
Sadly there is still a double standard, but progress is being made...slowly, unfortunately. I work from home, and love being home with my kids and it IS a J.O.B. I was a stay at home with my first born for 3 years and then went back to work and let me tell you, work seemed like a vacation (scheduled lunch breaks, uninterrupted restroom breaks, adult conversation, pat on the back for a job well done, promotions, not to mention a paycheck and benefits). Now I am at home with 4 kiddos and running a business and taking on homeschooling. Honestly, my husband would LOVE to be a SAHD. He too has recently launched a new business locally for the mere fact he wants to set his own schedule and be able to be here more for the kids. Right now he is still at his day job until we can afford for him to leave permanently.
ReplyDeleteI applaud you and your husband for doing what is best for YOUR family. Don't listen to the naysayers, they are just simply ignorant in my humble opinion! ;)
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment on my new blog. I may take your advice and try that massage after all!
I love hearing the varied responses - but even more I love hearing how many great dads that also want to stay home with their kids!
ReplyDeleteSadly there is a double standard. But it shouldn't matter what everyone thinks. It works for your family, everyone is happy and at the end of the day that is what matter the most.
ReplyDeleteI think it is nice that at least one parent is able to stay at home with the child (no matter if it is dad or mom).