How I outsmarted my stubborn preschooler. Part One: Cleaning

Something really baffles me about Bug sometimes. This kid loves doing chores - washing dishes, folding laundry, cleaning windows and tables, vacuuming, you get the idea. But for some reason, the request of "put your toys back in your room" is like a completely foreign concept, which is always met with the whining battle cry of "I don't waaaaaaaant to!" or "Can't you helllllllllllllp me?" (Parents, I know that you know how the emphasis lies on exactly those words!)

Some parents say the timer method works for them. You set a kitchen timer for, oh, five to ten minutes, and everyone scrambles to pick up the stuff. Ok, those of you who find that this method works, raise your hands. Damn, I knew that would be most of you! I don't mind the "timer scramble" for big messes, but honestly now - why should I be scrambling for ten minutes to pick up Bug's stuff? He's almost five! He can pick up the fifteen Matchbox cars and bring them to his room by himself, it's not that much stuff!

Well, after a few months of the aforementioned back and forth battle, I finally realized what the problem was. It's not the amount of stuff to be put away - it's that his hands are small, thereby requiring him to make 15 trips through the house for 15 toys. So, I had a moment of Mom Genius. Bug really, really, really likes shopping of any kind - especially clothes, but that's a whole 'nother topic - so on our last shopping excursion I had him pick out his own reusable plastic grocery tote bag. He chose one with a lion, disappointed in the lack of dinosaurs as an option. This is officially his shopping bag and no one is allowed to mess with it.

And basically how it goes now is like this: the official lion bag hangs on the doorknob to his bedroom. At the end of the day, or any time the mess has just overflown too far into the rest of the house, I announce "shopping time". Bug goes to town "shopping" for all of his toys to take back "home" to his room, and when he gets back to his room he just has to dump the bag back into the toy box, and hang it on the doorknob for next time. Clean up now takes under five minutes, and everyone is less frustrated. I highly recommend this if all else has failed for you so far too!

What do you do when your parents are getting divorced?

And I don't mean this for the kids. I mean for us, as parents ourselves - what do we do when our parents decide to split up?

My own mom recently divorced her husband (my step-father) after almost 20 years of marriage. There was a big age difference, and a big difference of opinion on aging. She worked, he had been retired for 15 years already. Her job was moving five miles down the road, he complained it cost too much in gas. He criticized everything she did, and she finally had enough. There were other things too, that I won't get into. When she announced she was filing for divorce, I said "Good for you!". Her friends said the same thing. Her co-workers even said the same thing.

Honestly I never liked him in the first place. They married when I was eight - I'm now 28 - and this is the same man that single-mouthedly caused my eating disorder that I still can't shake 16 years later, caused me to move out at 15, and numerous other things. And of course, my mom is aware that I didn't like him. I found it very hard to conceal my complete elation at the news that they were splitting up.

So how do you be supportive of your adult parents divorcing, especially when you're not impartial? I've always kept it friendly with my step-father, despite my actual feelings for him, out of consideration for my mother - and I'm actually kind of hurt that I haven't heard a word from him since he moved out of my mother's house almost three months ago. At least mom is taking it well - she's got a real "I'm just fine on my own and I will survive" spirit (and a few shopping sprees probably didn't hurt) but I just can't find the right words to say.

Anyone been there done that? Any words of encouragement for me or her?